This is the story of the magical mystery tour we had on the way back from Ufford to Leiston in Suffolk. We, that is Kat and myself, had taken the bus down to Ufford to walk the Heritage Trail as our Mid-winters walk. The journey down to the village and the walk and pub stops all went as planned, the only obstacle being the flooded pastures along the River Deben forcing us to take the road alternative.
The magical mystery tour began our our way back to Leiston. The route is served by the 64 BusbService operted by First Group buses. The bus was about 15 mins late at Ufford which was a little disappointing but I have to admit somewhat expected as the First Group schedules, from experience, are never perfectly adhered to.
Things did not get off to a good start when the bus driver pulled up and the doors did not open. I am used to such events on the X2 First Group Beccles to Norwich service which I use for work where bus doors regularly stick and I often have to give them a nudge in order to gain access. In this instance after a minutes wait I eventually gave the door a nudge thinking they were stuck upon which the doors swung open allowing us access. The driver was not happy with this. He took umption and castigated us for boarding as he had purposely kept the door closed because there was an old man attempting to walk down the bus and alight at the stop. This was certainly not obvious from outside the bus and the usual method to notify boarding passengers of such an event would be to open the doors and politely ask people to wait. Not on this occasion. This bus driver thought a closed door indicated the same message and if any potential passenger mis-interpreted such vague signs then they were either plainly dumb, stupid or ignorant. I guess we were all three as I blatantly assumed the doors were stuck and needed a nudge.
So, our journey did not start with the best beginings. Nonethelss we let matters lie and after having our return tickets punched, proceeded to sit down. From here the journey to Saxmundham went as planned. One thing that I do not like about the 64 service is that it does take the unwitting passenger on a tour of East Suffolk housing estates, managing to detour around every available piece of domestic urbanisation between Leiston and Ipswich it can find which results in a 25 mile journey taking one hour and forty minutes. Saxmundham, being a small town with a little modern housing estate, is no different to the other A12 towns and villages and consequently the 64 service navigates around the back of town which involves having to negotiate speed bumps and stops every 100 yards because obviously people in this day and age are unable to perambulte more than 50 yards without the transportation.
So our bus turns off of the A12 Saxmundham bypass, and as per the predefined schedule turns into the small housing estate down to the old road into town. This road is typical modern construction that takes a winding course through what was fields a few years ago with multiple speed humps that hamper the progress. Midway along its course is a school and it was at this point things became interesting. On the left, in front of the detached houses, there was a parked car and directly in front of that a parked van. On the right, outside the school, was a parked Range Rover which was directly opposite the car and van. This wasnt the best parking in the world, in fact the Range Rover driver must have been close to the description of a total idiot to have parked there leaving little room for traffic to pass. Either that or owning such a top market motor entitles the owner to have a certain amount of stupidity and allows them to park with total disregard to other obstructions on the highway.
Anyway, our bus driver, after coming to a halt in front of the narrow passage between the vehicles, immediately assumed that the gap was not sufficient to get his bus through. He bangs on the horn a long blast to draw attention to the scene. Nothing happens. I have to admit it would have been tight to get the bus through the gap but at that point the 64 bus arriving from the opposite direction pulls up and nervously started to negotiate the gap. It appeared that he was going to be successful but before he had completed the manouvre our bus driver had reversed into a cul-de-sac and then drives out, back up the road from whence he came. Not sure exactly what he was planning we assumed he would come off the estate and go straight down into Saxmundham town centre. No, he returns up the road then heads back out onto the main A12 Saxmundham by-pass. Here he proceeds towards Yoxford then takes the next right down through the village of Carlton to get back onto the old road into Saxmundham. This is a little lane. At certain points there was probably no more room to get past than there was between the parked vehicles on the housing estate. Even so, this seemed to be a clever move by the driver as it meant he would get onto the main road and still be able to arrive at the main Saxmundham bus stop by the railway bridge. A clever plan with one huge flaw which appeared in his scheme when, without hessitation, at the junction with the main road instead of turning right into town he turned left. This meant he ended up back on the A12. Here he turns left and heads back along the by-pass to the road we originally came from. Once again he returns onto the housing estate. He drives down the winding estate road to the school. On the left is a parked car with a van parked directly in front. On the right is a Range Rover leaving little room to pass though just enough for a bus to pass through. He wasnt going to lose face. He had already decided that his bus was wider than the average bus and would not be able to negotiate the obstacle. So he reverses into a cul-de-sac, turns round and goes back out to the road into the estate where he turns left to take the B1119 into Saxmundham. Apart from he misses the junction into Mill Road that leads down into town and ends up on another housing estate where he comes to a stop as the road sharply turns left with junction on the right. He decides to turn right thinking it will get him back to Mill Road although he doesnt know this road does not lead to Mill Road but to Station Approach which would be difficult for a bus to get down. However there are too many cars parked for him to negotiate the corner. He attempts to take the turn but then realises it was not going to happen in a million years, certainly at least as long as it would take for all the parked cars to turn to rust and be blown away as dust.
Finally he has to admit defeat. He shouts out the question 'Does anybody now the roads round Saxmundham'. The chap behind us directs him towards Johns Road buy that is too tight to get a bus round. So we head down to Fairfield Road and he is able to get round that and back onto the main road into town. The adventure finally comes to an end. The Magical Mystery tour finalises and we proceed on our merry way to Leiston. Only forty minutes late. But what a journey.
IT could only happen on First Group buses.
